One would swear that my excitement for this column is totally
over the top. I feel that I am
definitely writing for the Boston Globe, or even The New York Times. My family on the other hand . . . well they
are cautiously excited for me. Cautious
in the fact that they are not sure what I am going to write about. Last night
I was so angry with my mother for not having the “The Pre-Menopause” talk with
me. My mom and I have a great
friendship. I remember where we were
when she gave me “The Talk” when I was growing up. Although I really wish that maybe she would
have given me “The Other Talk” now that I am older. Yes, I am 36 years old and sometimes I sing
the lyrics to the song in my head, “The old gray mare, she ain’t what she used
to be”. Yes I remember the day that I
found my first gray hair on my head, I was like 25 and my Dr. at the time informed
me that it was because of the medication that I was on. I can’t blame her for that. However after I hit 30 things started
happening to my body that NEVER happen when you are in your 20’s. A lot can be blamed on kids and giving birth. For instance by now we know what happens when
I get on a trampoline, and two piece swimming suits are out of the
question. The only time that you hear
about two pieces come out of my mouth is when I say, “I will have two pieces of
bacon”. Not saying that I had a rock
solid body before childbirth, I was the chubby kid that found stretch marks on
my legs when I was 16. I remember it
vividly, it was the year that I discovered mozzarella sticks from the café in
Oklee and bismarks from the McIntosh bakery, it all went downhill and sideways
from there. I found a chin hair a year
ago and flipped out, it wasn’t a soft one that was casually brushed up with a
makeup brush. This was a whisker that
hung low and was long. I pulled it
out. Wouldn’t you know the next week it
started coming back and brought friends?
You would swear my chin was a college keg party and my lower face was
“The Hang Out”. Every time I go to Wal-Mart to buy the wax kit
I stuff it amongst other things in my cart to make sure that I don’t see
anyone. I feel like I am 17 years old
again buying my own feminine products.
I called my mom tonight and she goes, “I don’t have chin hair”, the next
time that I see her I am going to take a good look at her chin. . . . This
conversation will definitely be continued. So this is my second column, and by now you
are thinking one of two things.
One: Thank God it’s just not me,
or Two: This girl isn’t all there. Well I hope that it is one, and if it’s
two. Well you see I had a stroke and
brain surgery. True story, I had a
stroke at 33 and brain surgery at 35. I
use that as an excuse a lot. Have I
recovered? I am happy to say that the bad days are few
and far between, but sometimes it is really hard. It has been a year since my surgery and
tonight I sent my brother a message on Facebook and the last message that I got
from him was the day of my surgery and he said, “I love you Al”. It made me smile, and I got a little teary
eyed. It made me realize that I don’t
know if we have really told each other that we love each other since then. Why should it take something like your loved
one going in for a serious surgery to send that message, and why hadn’t we done
it before or after that for that matter? We all have our issues in life, I have
mine, and if all you don’t think that you have yours . . . well my friend you
do. We take time for granted, and we get
so caught up in our own lives that we forget about the ones who really
matter. We have all said that the phone
works both ways, but sometimes it takes you to pick up the phone. There is something about getting a phone call
from your family to just say hi. It is a
lot better than receiving a call saying that “Al there was a bad accident”. So to
my brothers Aric and Lucas, I love you very much, and you should really call
mom and dad and “Thank them for giving birth to the best older sister”. Until next week my
friends.
Allie Enge
Thief River Falls, Minnesota
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