High Heels and Dirty Dishes # 9

I have decided that this week that in this “Social Media” age a person can’t breathe without offending anyone. (Mom this does not apply to you). I am all for freedom of speech, because if I wasn’t. . .this article would be pretty boring. This week was my friends 30th birthday and she is “with child”. Or like my father would say, “Knocked up”. Her pregnancies are like mine miserable beyond belief. So instead of a surprise birthday party in which she wouldn’t have been able to consume alcohol she wanted to get tweets from famous people. I aided in this fun and tweeted Al Roker saying that it’s her 30th birthday and she was pregnant and to tweet the knocked up lady. Al in fact did tweet her back, although someone got offended with my verbiage. It was a man that didn’t appreciate that term and went on to say that childbirth was the most beautiful thing ever. Well Mr. Man let me tell you something. Babies are the most beautiful thing ever, CHILDBIRTH IS NOT. If you were a woman that has ever been at the cusp of dying while hearing a Dr. say, “I can feel the head only a couple of more pushes”, which in fact turns out to be two hours later still no baby and you are cussing out Eve for eating an apple in some garden. . . you would understand that. There is nothing beautiful about that moment. I had to laugh when Princess Kate was in labor and the media was reporting what was happening during the labor. I wondered if she looked at Prince William and said, “You ^&*%&%^ you did this to me”. Or was she mad at Eve like I was. No matter what the case I would like to ask her in private amongst friends if she thought that it was “Beautiful”. If and when I get to heaven I am going to get my lady friends together and punch Eve in the jugular, after putting a bushel barrel of apples together and have her eat them in front of us. See how she likes those apples now! If it’s not something that you put on Facebook, or something that you put on Twitter people will eat you alive. . .do they not know I had stroke? I love social media, but there are many times that I often wonder if people would be so brave to tell that person in real life what they write in the “Social Media” world. I am, and that is why in many cases people don’t like me. I am not afraid to confront someone. That makes people really uncomfortable. What makes me smile on the inside is when people know that I know that they know what they said and when they see me they often wonder what she going to say. The end result of that situation really all depends on if I have taken my medication or not. Like Ryan use to say, “I have enough friends”. This time of year I have a hard time dealing with my stroke, and I struggle not to feel sorry for myself and being so close to the date that it happened makes it worse. Yes I am a survivor, but it is a tough time for me. People see me as someone who is fine, those that I allow to know me know otherwise. I have to keep on reminding myself that I am here for a reason, it is hard. Last night my arm went numb and I dropped the supper on the floor. I deal with that and forgetfulness, slurred speech, headaches, anxiety. That is one reason why I have a hard time getting to know people better. I will talk for a little bit, and then walk away. It may seem as though I am being standoffish or it might actually seem that I am being a little stuck up. That is not the case at all. I am terrified of someone seeing just how messed up my speech can get, or my thoughts, or how I ramble, and if I trip you might as well just put a Scarlet Letter on my chest. What people say in their eyes is even more powerful than what comes out of their mouth. Don’t believe me? Just ask anyone that has lost their hair to cancer, or has a disability, they know what I am talking about. I don’t really work on that part of my recovery, it is too painful to actually even go there. I get up in the morning and hope it’s a good day. Until next week my friends. Allison Enge Highheelsanddirtydishes@yahoo.com