High Heels and Dirty Dishes # 8

By the time that you read this, school will be in session for the year and this mama is one happy person. These last couple of weeks have tested my patience as a human being. I wouldn’t change my kids for the world, not because there are not obvious improvements to be made. It is more like I wouldn’t know where to start. This week I had two of my nephews spend the night for a couple of nights, and I love those two so much and am so proud to call them my nephews. (I felt the need to insert that to make me sound like a good aunt) Needless to say that I learned a lot from the days that they were over. I have had the boys before however it had to have been the whole end of summer going back to school thing, the heat, was there a couple of full moons in a row, and I am pretty sure Mountain Dew runs through their veins??? All 3 of the boys were wild and you would swear that we have raised some savages for children. I use to be upset with my parent’s for the fact that we never went out to eat growing up. Well mom and dad I can see why. My friend opened up a café and I brought the kids to her opening, people were looking at me I know questioning if it was the first time that the kids had been out in public. Thanks to my nephews, Nolan now knows how to fart using his hand and armpits, and I am not responsible for the things they learned from Nolan. We did have a great couple of days, but I felt like my mother after she has had all of her grandkids for the weekend during a snow storm . The look of weary on her face, and the complete look of happiness when they left. It wasn’t too long ago that when I left the yard with all of them she was jumping up and down waving her hands like she won blackout in Gully. Mom I apologize for being upset then, because I understand. I have now realized that I have become my parent’s, specifically my mother. When does that transformation take place? My daughter thinks that I am the most uncool person ever to walk the earth, yet she thinks that my mother walks on water. My mother talks and her word is gold, and when I talk all I get is eye rolling. Is it a teenage thing? I think that my mother is great and she is my best friend, and I love that my children adore her. But the next time I hear that they want to move to Grandma Cheryl’s I am going to have to tell them the truth, that their grandma is not the mother that I grew up with, she is now just an old lady trying to get to heaven. (Come on - you don’t want to laugh, but how can you not) Why is it that to my daughter I am not fashionable at all, yet I tend to find 1/8 of my closet in her room? I loved when she told me that I should maybe lose a few pounds so she can fit into my “Cute” clothes. There were no words for that situation. Well ok, there were words but non suitable for this column. Yes I realize that I am not the only person to ever raise a teenager, but uff da. . . at times this is about as fun as it doesn’t get. I am going to get my revenge on her. I am not sure that Dr. Phil would approve of the word “Revenge”, I am going to consider this more of a “Learning Lesson”. You see this week I asked her to help me do something. She decided to do half of it. No rhyme or reason, just didn’t feel like doing it all. So the next time she asks me to do something for her, particularly take her somewhere. I am going to drive her ½ way there because that’s all that I feel like doing. See now that I put it that way, it’s not revenge at all. My grandpa Kenneth always told me that there was more than one way to skin a cat. . . or was it a deer. . . Dear Lord help me keep my sanity. She will get mad at me one of these days for writing about her, I don’t care though. Truth is I would rather have her mad at me for writing about her, instead of her being upset with me for breathing the same air as she does. If you have ever had a teenage daughter you know what I mean. Until next week my friends. Allison Enge Highheelsanddirtydishes@yahoo.com