Just when I think that my years of “Stupid Choices” were
behind me, I totally topped the cake and folded into “Middle Aged Pressure” and
signed up with a bunch of my friends to do this “Uff Da Mud Run”. This definitely beats the time that I was 16
years old and my girlfriends buried my parent’s Red LTD Ford on a snowmobile
trail. I know that my mother is going to
read this, and I want to tell you one more time . . . . MOM IT WAS KEISHA AND SHEILA’S
FAULT. (Sheila is my mother’s niece, also known as Shannon). At
the time I was not in the car I was actually on the back of a Harley Davidson. Ok, back to the Mud Run. I had no idea what I was getting myself into
signing up for this. I absolutely did no
research, paid the $50 and now the truth has finally started to come out. Let me tell you something, I am not an
athlete. I have never been an
athlete. I was in track for one week,
and made it to 1 track meet. . . and
then the coach Lawrence Vettleson needed someone to run the 2 miles in
Crookston. I finished the race, and
never put those shoes on again. I wasn’t
bad, I was terrible. I was on lap 3 of
like 1,000 and everyone else was done. I
don’t run, I don’t do sit up’s, push’s ups to me are something that the Schwans
man brings to my house, and curls are something that I use to put in my hair. I am
starting to get feedback on everything that is going to happen on this day, and
I sure picked a fine time not to use to my ipad and do some research. These girls are worried about ordering tank
tops and calling our team the “Tuff Mudders”, I really want to tell them that
no one is going to be looking at our shirts they are going to more focused on
the girl swearing from start to finish and yelling at the top of her lungs, “If
I live you girls better find your own way home”. Keisha told me that we are a team and we are
going to wait for one another to do each obstacle. That my friend should have been my clue the
word “Obstacle”, why don’t they just call a spade a spade and call it a “Death
Trap”. Oh and Keisha she is about as
competitive as they get. I refuse to be
on the same team with her when it comes to a board game, now I am going to
trust to lift me over a 10 foot wall???
She will leave me hanging and on the way home call me “fragile”. The only thing that I climb into is bed. Now we have to cross a river. It was asked if we needed life jacket for
those that can’t swim, of course I need a life body suit! Yes I am 36 years old and can’t swim. How you may ask yourself? Well you see when you are 6 and think that
your 9 year old brother is really awesome . . . but then doesn’t want you to
play with him and his friends at Pine Lake, he holds your head underwater until
you feel as though you are on the cusp of death. Since then, I hate water. I remember the last day I ever went to
swimming lessons I ran off the bus in Fosston didn’t go to the school and went
to Ben Franklin instead. There was no
way she was going to pass me, I was fully aware of the situation. These girls are all training for this mud
run. I guess we have to climb monkey
bars during one of the obstacles, and I’m sure will be full of mud just getting
out of the river. So my training is
going to start tomorrow. If you can’t
find me at home, well I will be at the playground working on getting from one
end of the monkey bars to the next. I
don’t know why I try though I was never able to do them before, I don’t know
why I think that I am going to be able to do them now. Until next week my friends.
Allie Enge
Thief River Falls, MN
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