Good Job Allie

I had a Dr.  appointment today in Grand Forks.  I've been having some medical issues, nothing bad or anything like that.  It has been going on for about a year and to be honest after my brain surgery I really didn't want to deal with anything else.  It's not a life or death thing.  I broke my elbow a few years back, and it is true that when you break something when your young. . . You pay for it when your older.  I'm gonna be fine, I have options and lets hope they turn out like I want it to.   That is not what this post is about though.  I went to The Rehab in Grand Forks at Altru.  Turns out that the Dr. I seen today was my Rehab Dr.  He gave me a huge hug, and it brought back so many memories.  When we were done he shook my hand and told me that he was proud of me.  I seen some of my old nurses and they remembered me.  It hit me emotionally though because I seen folks that were inpatient and I remember the shock and pain being there.  A lady was struggling walking with a cane and I wanted to tell her that this place is only a pitstop and things get better.  So now going on 3 years since my stroke I tonight decided to write myself a letter.  I'm writing a letter to the girl that I was 3 years ago from the girl I am today.

Dear Allie, 

I'm not going to tell you that life is going to get better, no I'm going to tell you that life is going to get different.  It's ok to be angry, and it's ok to cry. It's ok to be frustrated and it's ok to be depressed.  When you ask God why he did this to you, also thank him for still giving your kids their mom.  Life isnt going to get any harder, life is simply going to be different.  Your going to question so many things, you will worry about financial struggles, worry about your parenting skills, you will question your faith.  You will question friendships, and friendships will question you.  You will struggle with loyality, and loyality will struggle with you.  Again taking a look at the Allie pre-stroke and 3 years post stroke these are all things that you faced before, the only difference is that they are different.  You are going to come out stronger, just as you have during any other obstacle, the only thing is that the courses are different.  So take time to grieve the loss of your life before, but don't take too much time because wasting time dwelling on the why's is a missed opportunity on the Wow's and girl you have a lot of them coming up if you allow yourself the vision to see them.

Your best friend and biggest Cheerleader, 

Allie